Hi! I'm femflux afab, and getting ready to marry. My partner is a cis man. So I'm writing our website for the event and having trouble using the word "bride". It sounds… wrong. Too femme. I don't really take the nb label but female is inaccurate too. But here's the big problem: I'm not out. I've been happy just knowing who I am for myself, didn't want to confuse anyone or make more trouble for myself – "why bother if you're mostly female" "is that even a thing?" Advice would really help. <3
another gender neutral, inclusive term for people who at least partially id as female is female-aligned. there’s also femme like you used in your ask. there’s also spouse and partner. so that might help with what term to use.
also your gender is valid and whatever terms you decide to use for your gender are also valid, whether you decide to come out or not.
you could just avoid the word bride on your website altogether and just say Mr. and Mrs. or Ms. _____. I don’t think that you can avoid other people using the word bride unless you say your uncomfortable with that term. but someone might ask why you don’t like it and you might have to come out anyway.
so if people using the word bride causes dysphoria and is going to ruin your wedding consider coming out to at least the people you’re closest to so that they can use the right words. at the very least you could talk to the person marrying you and ask them to use the word you want in the ceremony.
if the word bride doesn’t cause dysphoria and won’t ruin your day it might just be something you have to deal with.