Hi! I'm femflux afab, and getting ready to marry. My partner is a cis man. So I'm writing our website for the event and having trouble using the word "bride". It sounds… wrong. Too femme. I don't really take the nb label but female is inaccurate too. But here's the big problem: I'm not out. I've been happy just knowing who I am for myself, didn't want to confuse anyone or make more trouble for myself – "why bother if you're mostly female" "is that even a thing?" Advice would really help. <3
another gender neutral, inclusive term for people who at least partially id as female is female-aligned. there’s also femme like you used in your ask. there’s also spouse and partner. so that might help with what term to use.
also your gender is valid and whatever terms you decide to use for your gender are also valid, whether you decide to come out or not.
you could just avoid the word bride on your website altogether and just say Mr. and Mrs. or Ms. _____. I don’t think that you can avoid other people using the word bride unless you say your uncomfortable with that term. but someone might ask why you don’t like it and you might have to come out anyway.
so if people using the word bride causes dysphoria and is going to ruin your wedding consider coming out to at least the people you’re closest to so that they can use the right words. at the very least you could talk to the person marrying you and ask them to use the word you want in the ceremony.
if the word bride doesn’t cause dysphoria and won’t ruin your day it might just be something you have to deal with.
I’m sorry for my earlier question and using genders to define body parts. I understand that it may hurt or trigger people and I wasn’t thinking when i sent you that message. I apologize for my lack of consideration
it’s fine. it’s just meant as an FYI for future reference so that we can all learn how to better talk about other trans and nonbinary people.
This may be weird… but I’m really confused with my gender rn.. and if really appreciate some advice. Sometimes I like my chest and other times I wish it weren’t there. I thought I was non-binary but it goes back and forth. And this maybe strange but I feel more masculine some days but I never wish I had male genitalia. Honestly I have a fear of male genitalia due to abuse. But it’s really confusing me as to who I am… I’d be really thankful for any advice you have.. thanks
tw: gendered language, genitals
just a quick note: there’s no such thing as “male genitalia” or “female genitalia”. it’s better to actually say penis or vagina. the reason is that trans fem people have penises and trans masc people have vaginas. a trans woman’s penis is a female penis because they are female or female aligned. calling genitals male or female based how they are traditionally seen also excludes intersex people.
here’s something that can help you figure out you gender:
if you don’t find a term that fits your gender then you can still use nonbinary as a term to describe your gender.
here are some dysphoria tips if you need them:
Do you promo moodboard blogs? If not it's totally ok just delete this. But I've made up a new sideblog and have problems to draw attention there 🙁 My url is @zelmas-moodboards tysm
go follow them!
Hi 🙂 just a small off-my-chest, I'm afab femflux and having a particularly genderless day but the only thing I had to wear this morning was a skirt and I want to feel nice but its just weird and wrong and uncomfortable. Normally I'm fine and don't get clothing dysphoria and I thought it would be okay but today is going to be a slog so I just had to tell someone. I'm not out IRL, just here, so it's a bit hard… ah well, thanks for listening, you help me feel valid every day so thank you <3
i’m glad we could help.
here are some dysphoria tips in case you need them:
i’m not sure if you actually wanted one of of us to reply to this but i thought that since you were anon it would be okay. but if you want the ask deleted just send in another ask and i will.
Can I be aro AND acespike with my spikes coming at different times? Like I'll want a romantic relationship at certain times and sometimes I'll have spikes of sexual feelings. Also, can I "like" a girl? I'm panfluxsensual. (I'm the panflux anon unless that was a different blog) I wanna hold hands with her, go places, like just get some bubble tea and go be somewhere. Am I valid?
you are completely valid! however you id and whatever labels you want to use, you are valid and you can like whoever you want.
Could you explain what exactly genderflux is and how to know if I fit that identity? Thanks! ❤
1. Will T do anything to my legs/curves? God damn my legs are NICE. 2. Okay, so I think I got my first period. It's so light though, so I'm not sure (sounds weird I know). How do I deal with dysphoria of that and using the girls bathroom at school? 3. I love this layout!
tw: ftm, period
here is a FAQ about T. there are more questions and answers at the bottom of the page (tw: ftm):
here are some tips for helping with dysphoria during your period
if you think you would feel more comfortable in the boy’s room and you are already presenting as male then it’s possible that your school might let you use the boy’s room. obv. that’s 100% up to you if you want to try that.
however it would probably be better to wait after you start T to try using the boy’s room in public.
here’s a link for more transmasc resrources:
and just in case here are some nonbinary resources:
So on the way home from sparring I was thinking about my sexuality as one does. I'm pansexual and acespike and sometimes feel a stronger attraction to a certain (or few) gender(s). I thought of the term panflux, where you feel a stronger attraction to certain gender(s) but you're still pan. Would that work? Can I use that for myself?
if you think that term fits you then yes use it.